


Saturn

by Vixx_ChickBap



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12023223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixx_ChickBap/pseuds/Vixx_ChickBap
Summary: Once news reached Magnus that his beloved Shadowhunter was not going to be returning to him, everything inside of him just stops.





	Saturn

SATURN

**_You taught me the courage of stars before you left._ **   
**_How light carries on endlessly, even after death._ **

       Once news reached Magnus that his beloved Shadowhunter was not going to be returning to him, everything inside of him just stops. He finds that he isn't able to process the news that his dear Alexander isn't going to be coming back home, that something had stolen his love away from him. This wasn't supposed to happen yet, himself and Alec were supposed to have a large number of years together; to grow together and have their love grow stronger and stronger. His hands trembled as he held the letter from Isabelle in his hands, understanding that the female wasn't able to do it face to face; this wasn't supposed to happen at all.

**_ With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite. _ **  
**_ How rare and beautiful it is to even exist. _ **

       He couldn't help but think about how frightened Alec would have been as he laid there bleeding out, how much he would have cried and wished that he could have lived on. With these thoughts, he loses his own breath as a need to sob rises up in his throat that he tries to swallow down and keep hidden at bay. His beautiful boy was gone, and all too suddenly the emptiness in the loft became all to apparent and hard to deal with. So he steps outside onto the loft balcony and into the cold air, where he had once saved Alec from taking his own life; and he hurts to know that he hadn't been able to save him from his early demise this time. Had Alec cried for him? Had Magnus even been in his thoughts in those last few moments of his life, had Jace, had Isabelle and Max? But as curious as he was for that fleeting moment, he finds himself better not knowing what had been his love's last thought. He could imagine it being fear of not waking up once his eyes close for the last time.

**_ I couldn’t help but ask _ **  
**_ For you to say it all again. _ **  
**_ I tried to write it down _ **  
**_ But I could never find a pen. _ **  
**_ I’d give anything to hear _ **  
**_ You say it one more time, _ **  
**_ That the universe was made _ **  
**_ Just to be seen by my eyes. _ **

       Magnus' hands grip the railing of the balcony all too tightly as he realises what all of this means for his future that he had to live on in. He knew that one day it was going to happen, that he was going to have to lose the man that he loved with every fibre he had in himself. But it wasn't meant to be like this, it wasn't meant to be this soon and violent. Isabelle had said that he never stood a chance.... He briefly wonders if Alec had gone into the fight knowing that as well, that he wasn't going to come back and see Magnus one last time.  
       The Warlock chokes down a sob, face crumbling as he thinks of the last time that he had spoken to Alec and that he wasn't going to hear his voice ever again. Sure, he had recordings of him and Alec on his phone, but nothing in those videos would ever live up to the real deal that was Alexander Lightwood. He ached so much to know that he was going to be waking up in the mornings alone, that he wasn't going to be opening his eyes to find the young and great Shadowhunter in his arms or sprawled out on his satin sheets. He wouldn't feel Alec beside him as he woke up during the night where the only thing that would comfort him was watching the younger man sleep on. This was meant to happen like this so why did it?  
     Alec had always been a strong believer in things happening for a reason, but there was no need for the young man to be killed tonight, it didn't need to happen. How was he supposed to accept that Alec was dead and gone, how was he supposed to continue his day where there was a hole in his heart that was left from the Shadowhunter's demise.

**_ With shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite _ **  
**_ How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist. _ **

       All that Magnus could do was be grateful and rejoice in the memories that he had made with the man that meant everything to him. He would have to live in the short time that he knew Alec and wished that he had longer, that he and Alec had longer to grow together as a couple and be strong.  
       He shouldn't have let Alec leave this morning, he shouldn't have let the Shadowhunter manage to escape from his arms and leave their home. Magnus had that nagging feeling, but he had brushed it off and continued his day with a friend while his Alec was dying on the field. He looks over his shoulder and back into the loft as tears trail endlessly down his cheeks; the trail shining brightly on his skin. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, but he knew that he couldn't stay here where everything reminded him of who he had lost. Everything that he had looked at in his home would always bring his mind back to who he had lost, he knew that he wasn't going to be able stay here any longer. He couldn't be the High Warlock of Brooklyn anymore when all he saw was Alexander in everything that he did.  
       So Magnus does what he does best, he packed his belongings and moved on away from everything that would remind him of his gone love.

 

 


End file.
